So maybe I’ll write a little about it
I’ve been seeing some of myself in my dad recently, and honestly I’m noticing how much of a jerk I can be sometimes. He just landed a new client, and he’ll be gaining a lot more money now but whenever we ask him for something he tells us to buy it with our own cash, like he wants to take all our money so that we’re totally reliant on him for our things.
He’s also been making me walk home from school to make me want to get my driver’s permit/licence. So I end up getting an offer from one of my friends to drive me home from school, that’s really nice and helpful. I tell my dad about this and he congratulates me, whatever. two days later he approaches me and tells me to start paying my friend gas money, even though she only lives a little ways away and doesn’t go very far out of her way to drive me home. He tells me I have to pay her with my own money, so I can feel the pain of not having my own car. I tell him that I’ve been buying her lunch, and he gets all pissed off and says “You’ve been buying her lunch with my money!?”.
Today after we go and visit the dogs after they’ve been found we were getting ready to leave, and my dad starts insisting that his kids do something for my aunt who found them. Make us take down all the missing dog posters we found, pay her with our money, stuff like that. I head back to the car and get in the front because I was the first one out there, and suddenly my dad turns to me and tells me to get in the back and let my little brother sit in front. I ask him why and he says he’d let me sit in front if I had my permit, so I put on my apathetic face, get in the back of the car and pop in my music, fed up with my dad and my little brother. We drive to the store and instead of grabbing one of the nearby carts my dad strolls right in with the coupons he stole from my mom’s mail and starts having his kids carry things for him. He buys the cheapest low fat stuff the coupons will allow that us kids will probably end up eating, and then buys a huge 30 pack of beer for himself, good stuff. Keep in mind that my mom doesn’t have a job and could probably use those coupons for herself.
I’m thinking about becoming seriously withdrawn while I’m at my dad’s house, refusing to go on the weekends and make it so that I only have to see him when it’s necessary. I don’t have very much power here, but damn it I’ll try to flex it if I can.